


i think we're like fire and water (i think we're like the wind and sea)

by saltyvenus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/F, First Time, Smut, kinda???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25749625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyvenus/pseuds/saltyvenus
Summary: the first time annie actually sees her is in training corps.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart
Comments: 9
Kudos: 166





	i think we're like fire and water (i think we're like the wind and sea)

**Author's Note:**

> ok i havent watched snk in a loooong time so apologies if some things aren’t accurate/don’t make sense but the recent manga chapters made me ship mikasa and annie so 
> 
> title: brooklyn baby - lana del ray

the first time annie actually sees her is in training corps. of course, she had heard rumors of the ackermans around the streets when she was younger, how the couple was brutally murdered in front of their child one day, and how their only daughter was the sole survivor. but annie didn’t care for shitty gossip, if people were going to spread things around, they should at least make it sound less fabricated. 

nevertheless, the first time annie leonhardt sees mikasa ackerman in the flesh is when they’re training. annie stands up straight in the line-up, nudging reiner’s side so that he does the same and does not ruin the formation they have created. she has one of her hands in front of her heart, the other behind her back, as keith shadis marches around them with newfound irritation. 

all of the cadets stand still, giving the salute, whilst shadis glares long and hard at each and every one of them. after scowling at ymir, he moves on and glowers at annie. she keeps her eyes averted, glued to the ground, suddenly the dried up grass and brown sand look more interesting. she does not budge one bit. sweat trickles down the side of her face because they’ve been standing here for hours, and it’s boiling outside. she prays that shadis doesn’t comment on her form, the slight tremble of her hand against her chest, slowly turning numb from clenching it for too long. 

thankfully, he doesn’t say anything, and continues his murderous trek amongst the formation, slapping reiner along his muscular arms with his rolled up newspaper when his composure slips faintly. annie lets out a small breath she didn’t know she was holding, relaxing a bit. 

behind her, a light sigh is heard, tickling her neck and making the tiny hairs on her back stand up. annie doesn't know  _ who _ it is, but whoever it is, she is not familiar with their voice. however she doesn’t turn around, no, not yet. not while shadis is a couple meters away. so, annie continues to stay in her place, trying not to think about the person behind her. instead, she looks up at reiner, who, upon noticing her, gives annie a cheesy grin and a wink, despite being disciplined by their instructor a couple minutes prior. annie doesn’t smile back, because she’s not like that, but she does acknowledge him, averting her gaze ahead. 

they stand in the heat for about twenty more minutes, until sasha accidentally steps out of line with a piece of bread stuffed into her jacket, and shadis moves to chew her out. when this happens, annie allows herself, just for a moment while shadis isn’t looking, to turn her head around slightly towards the person behind her. annie ends up peering right into the eyes of mikasa ackerman, face stoic and blank, who is staring directly at her.

xx

annie sits on the wooden boxes outside the barracks, exhausted from sparring all day. her leg hurts,  _ badly _ , and annie’s pretty sure she’s twisted her ankle or something. annie rolls the bottom of her pants right up to her knee, the lamppost next to her illuminating yellow light directly onto her leg, which helps her to view the damage. 

fuck. her ankle was all bruised and purple, slightly swollen too. annie winces as she prods it with her fingers, and decides it’s not worth making a big fuss about. it’s not like she wanted to be a burden or anything, if she left it alone it would clear up in a couple weeks. usually, she never goes easy on reiner, and vice versa, but this time he had taken her by surprise and took her out from underneath, accidentally stomping on her foot with his own in the act. though he had apologized profusely, annie still grimaces.

“oh my god. that looks like shit.” a distant voice speaks from the dark, footsteps getting closer as deciphered from the crunchy sound of the grass. two figures stand in front of annie, blocking the light from the lamppost. annie looks up, annoyed that her peace is disturbed. 

it’s ymir and christa. ymir has two wooden crates full of food resting on each of her shoulders, no doubt that the second one was christa’s, and ymir was carrying it for her. the duo looks at her with concern, or more like, concern from christa and amusement from ymir. 

“annie!” christa speaks, blonde eyebrows knitted together in distress. “are you alright?”

annie grunts and rolls her pant leg down so that the bruise is no longer visible. she slouches on the box. “i’m fine.”

“looks infectious.” ymir snorts, and christa elbows her right in the stomach which almost causes the taller girl to drop both crates onto the ground as they slip on her shoulders. ymir wheezes from it, bending over as far as she could with the heavy objects weighing on her. “alright.” she croaks, and christa moves towards annie.

“you should get that checked. it could worsen.” christa suggests and annie absolutely hates how good-natured she is, how caring she looks right now. christa’s hand hovers over annie’s ankle, just above it, about to uncover the bruise again, when someone calls from behind them. 

“what’s going on here?” a silhouette paces towards the three girls, swiftly. annie squints when they come into light. it’s mikasa ackerman, moving closer. mikasa, with her short ebony hair and fair complexion. her mysterious grey eyes which accentuates her asian features greatly. her broad shoulders, and muscular arms that make her white dress shirt fit tight and snug against them, which definitely  _ doesn’t _ have annie staring.

her mouth goes dry at the sight of her. ever since that day, where she had turned around and looked right into the eyes of the other girl, who stared back with ease, that’s  _ all _ annie’s been doing. staring at mikasa. beside her, christa speaks up.

“annie’s leg is swollen, or something. it looks really bad.” christa says, pushing up her leg into the light so that mikasa can see it, when she shuffles forward. 

“you’re gonna need to get it amputated.” ymir jokes, a shit-eating smirk on her face. her obnoxious laughter subdues when christa and mikasa turn around to glare at her, and annie herself gives ymir a small glare of her own because she’s not helping this situation in any way. 

“jeez. tough crowd.” ymir mumbles, looking away.

mikasa sighs, and it sounds exactly like the one annie heard in the formation,  _ weeks _ ago. she averts her gaze when mikasa looks down at her ankle, still bruised and purple. 

“alright.” she begins. “ymir, christa. get back to work, i’ll handle it from here.” mikasa finishes, rolling up the sleeves on her dress shirt up to her elbow, and again, annie tries not to stare at her toned arms, the veins juttering out of her hands when she clenches them, which annie finds so...hot. 

christa nods obediently and hops off the wooden box, tugging the bottom of ymir’s jacket so that she follows her into the dining hall. ymir gives the two girls one last look, winks at annie, who rolls her eyes in disgust, and leaves with christa. 

annie holds her breath when mikasa sits next to her on the box,  _ so _ close, she can feel the heat radiating off of her, she can hear her soft breathing amongst the stillness of the night. their shoulders touch when mikasa lifts her leg up, and annie doesn’t think it’s intentional, but it has her heart thumping.

annie does not even register the pain, as she is so caught up in mikasa’s presence, until the other girl pokes her ankle with her long, slim fingers, and annie whines, embarrassingly so. 

“i guess it’s more sensitive around the sides.” mikasa says, voice monotone like this is something she’s done a million times before and it’s second nature by now. annie doesn’t reply, just bites her lip to conceal another groan because she  _ never _ wants to do that in front of mikasa ever again. it’s humiliating enough as it is that she’s treating her right now like some child. 

yet mikasa continues to prod and poke, careful not to touch the sides, because as she said, they were very sensitive. annie sits there and lets her.

“how did this happen? you’ve definitely twisted it.” mikasa asks and gently sets her back foot down (too gentle for annie’s liking, she had no reason to do so.) 

annie looks up at her, properly this time, no small glances or from afar or hidden by the night’s shadows. no, she’s looking at mikasa straight on, her cold, hard stare reflecting off of the other girl’s steely eyes. 

annie’s voice is small when she speaks, and she absolutely detests it. “i was sparring with reiner. he stepped on my foot. you know how big he is.” is all she says, or rather, all she  _ can _ say. annie doesn’t think she can form a proper sentence whilst mikasa is this close to her, when she’s staring so intensely.

mikasa nods, and moves to stand up. for a second, while her back is towards annie, she can’t help but ponder how nice and firm her ass looks in those tight black slacks right now. they look so biteable. but mikasa turns around, and the moment is ruined. only slightly, though, because mikasa’s front makes up for it greatly. the shadows cast over her face in a way that makes her look so intimidating, over her eyebrows and under her lips, yet there is still some unexplainable softness in her eyes. 

suddenly, mikasa’s hand is in front of her face, waiting. annie sits there, waiting as well until mikasa raises a dark brow and waves her hand, and it’s only then that annie realizes she’s supposed to grab it. she reaches out, like mikasa is an angel from heaven and annie’s wallowing in the depths of hell, stretches her arm until her hand is clasped with mikasa’s warm one.

mikasa pulls her up on her feet, snakes an arm around annie’s waist to support her. annie reluctantly puts her arm on mikasa’s board shoulders, she can feel the muscles through her thin shirt, and annie finds that she doesn’t mind as much as she thought. 

they move towards the barracks, mikasa walking slowly as to keep up with annie’s slow speed, making sure she doesn’t put much strain on her ankle. they walk in silence for the most part, save for the dead grass crunching underneath their boots and the loud shouting coming from the dining hall, no doubt it was sasha fighting over food as she so does every night during dinner. 

mikasa breaks the ominous atmosphere when they reach the steps of the barracks, helping annie to climb the stairs. 

“put an ice pack on it.” she says as she opens the door with her free hand. when they make their way inside, and mikasa sets annie down on the bottom of her bunk bed, who misses the warmth of her body already, she continues. “don’t put a lot of pressure on it, and it’ll heal fine in a couple of days.” mikasa finishes, rolling her sleeves back down to her wrists, much to annie’s disappointment. she nods, and mikasa nods in reply. she stands there in the middle of the cabin, unsure what to say or do next, and decides to just leave there and then.

mikasa makes her way towards the door when annie speaks.

“are you familiar with this sort of thing?” she asks, if only to keep mikasa near her for a little longer, annie doesn’t know when she’ll get the opportunity to be alone with her again. and it works, thankfully, because mikasa halts right before the door, and turns around.

“of course.” mikasa responds, crossing her arms,  _ looming _ over annie. “eren always finds a way to injure himself. i need to be prepared for that.” 

eren. everything was about eren. everything she  _ did _ , everything she  _ has _ done, somehow the motive behind it was always eren. annie doesn’t know what it feels like to consistently depend on someone, for them to be the sole reason for  _ anything. _ she was independent since childhood, and still, now, to this day, she has never needed to depend on anyone.

“eren.” annie says, short and curt, like a knife jab to the wall, like a hot flash of lightning right in front of your eyes. annie sits up as comfortably as she can on the bed, adjusting her leg. “you care a lot about him, do you?”

mikasa nods slowly, clutching at her red scarf wrapped around her neck. she needs to wash it soon, rid it of all the dirt and sweat from training. “yes, i do.” mikasa says.

annie clicks her tongue, staring down at the wooden floorboards. 

“but tell me, is it  _ always _ going to be eren?” she knows she’s treading on hot water with mikasa right now, but annie can’t help but push. she’s curious, if anything, about how far and deep mikasa’s loyalty will go for this boy. “are you always going to stand with him, or behind him, for that matter, till your last breath?” 

when she peers up, mikasa only stares at her, an unexplainable look in her eyes, as if she’s wondering why annie is asking her this. it takes a few seconds for her to respond, annie thinks that she’s coming up with a fleshed-out answer, a whole speech as to why she feels the need to protect this boy, to coddle him like a mother to a baby. instead, all annie gets in return is a simple, one worded answer.

“yes.” is all mikasa says.

annie scoffs, and she doesn’t even try to hide her disappointment. “i had a feeling you’d say that.” she begins. “but, you know, for such a strong girl, i would’ve thought you’d be more independent, not just eren’s bitch.” annie finishes, and as soon as that slips out of her mouth, she knows she overstepped a boundary. 

she knows because mikasa’s face suddenly darkens, hard, like steel, terrifyingly so. the type of face annie sees when mikasa’s obliterating the training dummies, destroying them until they’re nothing but fabric and straw on the ground, and annie wonders if the anger she’s projecting onto those dummies is because she’s lost people in the past due to those sickening creatures roaming around their world.

with the face she’s making, annie thinks she’s about to get the worst beating of her life, worse than her father’s hands, worse than when she spars with reiner and he accidentally snaps her arm. mikasa’s capable of doing much, much worse, and annie knows this. 

mikasa huffs, instead. she stays calm and collected, like she’s dealt with this kind of thing before, with people just  _ assuming _ . her face is still deathly horrifying, and her fingers clench tightly against her shirt, wrinkling it, but mikasa doesn’t get angry. when she speaks, her voice comes out smoothly.

“well, if you  _ knew _ , for just a minute, what my circumstances were, you’d understand why.” mikasa stares at annie, who matches her gaze. this is the scariest she’s ever seen mikasa, so she sits still on the bed, and lets her talk.

yet between then and now, somewhere in between, mikasa’s face drops, or it softens, almost. annie can’t tell. but she  _ can  _ tell when mikasa bites her lip and tightens her grip against her sleeve, that it is something serious.

“my parents..” she whispers, just barely, in the hollow cabin, sasha and connie’s screams from the dining hall faintly linger in the background. “they were murdered.”

annie’s eyes widen. so the rumors  _ were _ true. suddenly she feels so stupid for not believeing them, but it only makes sense now. she’s never heard of any ackermans except for mikasa. her mind lags, it goes blank for once, and really, she should’ve known. 

mikasa instantly remembers herself, that she shouldn’t show people this side of her. but it’s too late, annie’s already seen it, the way her eyes cloud over with hurt, the deep breaths, yet annie doesn’t think anything of it. in fact, it makes her seem more human than anything, that mikasa isn’t just an empty void, a killing machine.

she continues, impassively this time, face expressionless.

but annie knows that it’s just a mask. 

“however, i guess you already knew that, seeing as gossip spreads quickly around here.” mikasa says, some sort of malice behind her words. “yet, they were still murdered, right in front of me. i was only a child.” a sharp intake of breath. “and eren saved me. his parents took me in. that’s all you need to know.”

it all comes together now, and annie wonders how many times she’s had to tell this story, or even, how many times she  _ hasn’t _ . how many times she’s seen small children laughing with their parents on the streets, when she knows she won’t ever be able to experience that burst of joy again, when eren is the only family she has left.

suddenly, annie feels sick to her stomach.

“i..” her voice barely comes out. she doesn’t know what to say. the yelling in the background quiets down, their screams hardly audible now. the soft chirping of the crickets outside fills the silence, if only for a moment whilst annie finds strength to vocalize her apology. 

“i’m sorry.” she says, all lame and pathetic. mikasa just nods, casting her eyes away from the other girl. 

“it’s alright, you didn’t know.” mikasa replies, and damn, annie wishes she weren’t this kind, this forgiving. if annie were in this situation, she would’ve blown up already. “but now you do.” and mikasa moves towards the door to leave, again. annie doesn’t want her to, she doesn’t want to be left all alone in the cabin, wallowing in her deepest, darkest secrets, places in the parts of her mind that she wishes she could erase forever.

annie speaks up for the second time, though this time around, she doesn’t think it’s enough to make mikasa stay.

“i didn’t think you’d be this lenient on me.” annie murmurs. “why?”

mikasa gives her a long hard stare. she doesn’t meet her eye when she talks, then, instead, peering down at her black boots, tapping against the floorboard. “i just think we’re similar...in a way.” mikasa responds, eyes downcast. she does not look at annie when her hand reaches for the doorknob, when she twists it and it unlocks, when her leg steps out onto the first batch of stairs.

when ultimately, in the darkness of the night and the cabin, she leaves.

xx

for the next couple of days, annie is exempt from training, though her ankle already feels so much better than before. she can actually walk on it now. still, shadis gives her a stern look like he has been for the last week, and sends her to the back of the field, away from the trainees, where annie finds ymir sitting on a wooden bench.

annie plops down next to her, reluctantly. not that ymir is a bad person or anything, but she’s definitely more of a teaser, a joker, and definitely a lot to handle. 

“what’s your excuse?” annie mumbles to the girl next to her, who smirks with ease, hands behind her head. 

“i’m ‘sick.’” ymir chuckles once annie raises an eyebrow. “can’t believe shadis still falls for that shit. then again, i did almost threaten to puke on him. yum.”

annie’s face turns up in disgust. ymir was  _ certainly  _ not the best person to put up with, but it is inevitable in this moment, she’ll just have to deal with it. that is, until ymir nudges her side repeatedly and annie has half the mind to flip her over her shoulder and plummet the girl into the ground. 

“what?!” annie seethes, annoyed because this is not how she wants her morning to go. ymir retracts her hand quickly in fear of being hit, as she  _ is _ deathly terrified of small blonde chicks ganging up on her (though it sounds more like a fantasy to her) but her smirk is still plastered on her freckled face. 

“so, you and ackerman, huh?” ymir wiggles her brows, like a perverted old man, and annie definitely wants to punch her when she feels a blush creeping up her neck. she tries to hide it by pulling up her hoodie, but alas, ymir notices anyways. “oh! you’re blushing!! how cute.”

annie growls, shoving ymir’s shoulder, hoping she falls off the bench. she doesn’t even move, barely a flinch. damn her for being so tall. “no, i’m not.”

“yes you areeeeee. come on, did you fuck her yet?” ymir jokes, relishing in annie’s flustered state, perhaps the only time she’ll ever get to see annie this unraveled. “wait, that’s not right. did  _ she _ fuck  _ you _ yet?”

“why did you switch it around?”

ymir giggles. “because it’s so obvious you’re a bottom. there’s no way you’d be able to have _mikasa ackerman_ withering underneath you while you slowly fuck her with your stubby fingers. i mean, come on..hah.. _cum_ on..get it? anyways the only person she’d probably submit to is me..like, she _is_ totally hot and all, heh...wait but don’t tell christa-”

this is the last straw for annie. she’s absolutely sick and tired of ymir’s sexual rambling. and the fact that it’s not just  _ any _ rambling, no, it’s about mikasa. mikasa on top of her, mouth on her neck, fingers sunken in...

anyways, annie smacks the underside of ymir’s head with all the force she hands, sending her flying face first into the ground. for extra measure, she kicks ymir’s ass with her boot, the other girl giving a small groan of pain. 

“ok.” ymir mumbles, mouth full of dirt. “you win.”

this time, it’s annie who smirks at ymir suffering on the ground beneath her. the brunette gets up slowly, spitting out the grass wedged in between her gums. ymir’s tall figure blocks annie’s view when she hears the crunching of the grass and knows someone is walking towards them, and she hopes it isn’t shadis. 

“now, that’s no way to treat your comrade, is it?” that voice…

“mikasa!” ymir spins around fully, a bright smile on her face that annie thinks is too fabricated to be real. ymir clasps her hand around the darker haired girl’s shoulder, squeezing tightly. mikasa raises an eyebrow when she cranes her head to look up at ymir. “how are you this fine morning?”

mikasa pushes ymir’s hand off her, crossing her own. “aren’t you meant to be sick?” 

ymir fakes a cough. “yes. i’m practically dying, i need you to save me.” 

annie allows herself to snort at this strange interaction between the two. mikasa, so stoic, and ymir, so  _ not. _ it almost feels out of this world, so surreal. the two girls sharply turn their heads towards annie, and she realizes now her chuckle wasn’t as quiet as she thought.

finally, mikasa’s attention is on her now. when it is, annie doesn’t know what she’s feeling right now, her stomach sinks deeper, the endless pit wallows, feels like it’s swallowing her whole the more mikasa stares at her like this. 

“how’s your leg?” mikasa asks after a brief moment of silence. annie almost forgets to reply, so keen on figuring out what..  _ this _ is. 

“it’s..it’s a-alright.” annie curses herself for stuttering, even more so when she sees ymir trying to hold in her laugh in the background. 

mikasa nods curtly, slightly nudging annie’s foot with her own boot.  _ what the fuck..? _

“that’s good. i wouldn’t want you falling behind everyone else.”

annie’s eyes widen, or, as much as she can without it being noticeable. the thought of mikasa wanting her to keep going, to not fall behind when so many times in the past she’s resorting to giving up, when she would deem herself weak because she just simply  _ isn’t _ enough for anything, or anyone, makes her stomach flutter. 

“why?” annie asks.

“hm?”

annie scrunches her eyebrows together, tugging her hoodie upwards so it covers her blush ridden neck fully. “why don’t you want me to fall behind? i’m your ‘rival’ after all.”

mikasa looks taken aback, like she wasn’t expecting annie to question her words. she goes to open her mouth, tell annie that she upholds  _ so much _ respect for a fellow fighter, when ymir beats her to it, and ruins the moment.

“because she wants to pipe you, duh!” ymir screams loudly, turning heads from the training grounds. this only makes annie flush harder, she can’t even get up and fight ymir back anymore, her mind is already so clouded by her words. when she peers up at mikasa, she’s genuinely so surprised to find a small blush forming on her pale cheeks. annie’s stomach flips.

“ymir.” mikasa says sternly, covering the bottom half of her face with her red scarf. “leave. now.” 

ymir looks between the two girls, both faces pink, and sulks away, probably going to find christa and whine. 

mikasa turns back to annie, who averts her eyes, instead looking at the ground below her, where ymir once ate dirt. mikasa takes in a breath, and continues. 

“i don’t see you as a rival, annie.” her name spoken in mikasa’s voice, god help her. it sends shivers down annie’s spine, has her insides churning with newfound desire. “you’re a worthy opponent, and i wouldn’t want you slack off, waste the potential that you have.” 

annie nods dumbly, she probably looks so stupid right now, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape from all the praise mikasa is giving her. although annie can’t lie, it feels so,  _ so _ , good.

mikasa smoothens down her shirt collar, fixes her scarf, no doubt out of nervousness. “so, when you’re up for it, i would like to spar with you.”

“you want to spar? with me?” annie questions, like she hadn’t heard mikasa clearly the first time. mikasa hums in confirmation, and annie feels like she’s about to fall apart.

xx

mikasa’s on top of her, grabbing at her arms, punching her bruised face left and right. their legs are intertwined on the ground, so tightly annie can barely move them, she feels her right leg turning numb and her other leg prickling, where her (now) healed ankle is. 

in the back of annie’s mind, the only thing she can think of in this moment is how close mikasa is, the way she’s straddling her with her muscular thighs, the sensation of her breasts on annie’s own, how she can just about feel mikasa’s light breath on her lips. 

“you’re not giving up this easily, are you?” mikasa brings her back to reality, sneering, her face turned up arrogance, her smirk condescending above annie’s beaten up figure. 

annie struggles underneath her for a bit, wiggling, trying to gain back all her energy she used up at the beginning, which she now realizes was a huge mistake because mikasa is extremely fast, faster than her, despite her height, that being the only positive thing about being five foot, and her drive to keep on going even after two or more hours is insane. 

still, annie manages to free her right arm that is pinned under mikasa’s strong hand by distracting her. she uses her foot to try and kick up at mikasa’s thigh, pressing hard and tight into the skin with her boot, she makes it as uncomfortable as possible, like the feeling of the blunt wooden swords tearing against skin at the training grounds.

mikasa winces, and just for a small second, she turns her head to glance at the commotion behind her. annie uses this opportunity to strike. her arm is free, and she delivers a powerful blow to mikasa’s face, squaring her right in the nose.

Immediately, annie retracts her fist when mikasa sits up straight and pulls back from her, face filled with shock. obviously she didn’t mean to hit her that hard, and annie already feels the guilt setting in. but when she moves towards mikasa, to help her stop the flow of blood spurting out of her nostrils, she notices that the other girl is laughing. 

annie raises her brow, confused. she’s ready to apologize, but mikasa looks so incredibly attractive right now with the blood gushing from her nose, dribbling down her face, seeping into her mouth when she smiles and the red liquid stains on her pearly white teeth.

“wow.” mikasa says, spitting the blood from her mouth onto the grass away from them, and annie wants to physically combust at how hot that action is. “you got me good.”

“i’m sorry..!” annie blurts out before she can stop herself. mikasa only shakes her head, wiping the remaining blood on her face with the back of her hand. annie thinks the red blotches against her pale skin complements her quite nicely, and she realizes how badly she wants to see mikasa all beat up and bloodied, and if she is so unable to do it herself, maybe mikasa could do the same thing to her.

“don’t apologize.” mikasa smiles, genuinely. it makes annie’s heart race all the while. “i wasn’t expecting that distraction. i guess i was stupid enough to fall for it.”

annie wants to tell her that, no, she  _ isn’t _ stupid. in fact, mikasa is so far from stupid annie wouldn’t be able to reach her as it is. but the words die on her tongue, and instead she’s left laying there, propped up on her elbows, mikasa  _ still _ straddling her, like the dumbass she is. 

the wind breezes past them, a cold shiver creeping up annie’s spine. the sun starts to set over the trees, reminding them that night is falling soon, and they should retreat before the stillness of the dark swallows them whole.

it’s mikasa who gets up first, brushing the grass off her clothes, giving her nose an extra wipe when the fresh blood starts to dry up and crust at the edges. she reaches a calloused hand down to annie, who gladly takes it, and it reminds her of that one time behind the barracks where mikasa had helped her with her ankle. 

they limp back to the training site, slowly, as annie turns her head around to watch the sunset; a bright orange washed with red, and she thinks it’s beautiful, one of the most amazing sights she’s ever seen in her entire life.

“what are you looking at?” mikasa mutters next to her when they reach the backside of the barracks. annie leans against the wall for support, once again looking at the view. her arms hang by her sides, lost. 

“the sunset..” she whispers, so unlike her, like a small child. she knows it’s only a few more minutes until it completely disappears, until it’s replaced by plain, black nothingness, but annie doesn’t know if she’ll ever see anything like this again.

mikasa looks back for a second, pondering. “you’ve never seen the sun set before?”

annie shakes her head. “no. nothing like this. not even when i was younger. it just feels so warm.” annie speaks softly, and it makes mikasa turn around and look back at her.  _ mikasa _ was warm, she was warm in all the ways annie was cold, she could see it in her eyes, her touch, her smile. when mikasa was fire, annie was ice. when mikasa was nearby, annie melted into water. 

and now, when she stands right in front of her, she’s warm. 

“mikasa…” annie breathes, below a whisper. her heart is pounding out of her chest as mikasa moves closer towards her, even more close than when they were sparring before, and annie can see every inch of mikasa’s perfect face, from her eyes down to her full lips. she stills, doesn’t budge at all when mikasa looms over her.

“you really think i didn’t notice? the staring, the blushing?” she teases, noticing annie’s face turning red at the implication. she feels so embarrassed to be called out like this, how many times has she stared at mikasa  _ with _ her noticing? annie doesn’t want to think about it, her mind is already scrambled enough with the way mikasa’s long, deftly fingers are caressing the side of her neck right now, each touch feeling like a hot burn mark to the flesh. 

annie doesn’t move away when mikasa’s lips find her own, and when she kisses her abruptly with the fading sun in the background. the kiss becomes more passionate when mikasa roughly pushes annie further into the wall, the bumpy texture of it jabs uncomfortably into annie’s back, but she finds that she doesn’t mind when mikasa is biting down on her lip so desirably. 

the feeling in the stomach comes back around, only then annie notices it’s arousal instead, further deepening her need for mikasa to take it all away when it is at its peak right now, when it feels so fucking good when mikasa slides her free hand up her thigh and she moans into her mouth. 

her hand finds the waistband of annie’s pants, and mikasa slips half her hand inside when she suddenly pulls away from annie’s mouth, and annie groans because it was getting  _ so good. _

mikasa’s face is serious, like her features had just reseted. she looks scary underneath the upcoming darkness, but honestly, annie finds that part of her the most charming. it has her almost creaming her pants when mikasa makes direct eye contact with those raw eyes of hers.

“are you alright with this?” she asks, and annie feels her heart swell tenfold. there had been too many instances in the past where consent wasn’t  _ even _ brought up, and where annie wishes she could go back in time and warn her naive self to just leave then and there before she gets taken advantage of. unfortunately, she didn’t have that power, and it happened anyways.

but this time, it’s mikasa. cold and reserved, yet sweet enough for a basic check in. annie nods, maybe a little too eagerly, but she’s happy nevertheless.

“if you say stop, i’ll stop.” mikasa says, and her hand moves further and further down annie’s pants. she must look pathetic by how much she’s already withering, and how wet she is right now, but mikasa doesn’t seem to look as if she cares when she finds the wet spot in annie’s underwear.

her fingers sink deep into annie’s pussy, all the way up to the knuckle. annie breathes heavily into mikasa’s ear, hot, slow pants as mikasa slicks her fingers back and forth, curling them. her thumb brushes over annie’s clit accidentally, but it only makes her moan louder. mikasa decides to go back and rub harder on her clit, pressing down harshly when it makes the blonde quiver, all while thrusting her fingers in and out of annie at a quicker pace. 

“does it feel good?” mikasa asks, her voice all husky and sultry against annie’s neck, licking and biting, which only furthers the heat and stirring inside her.

but annie winces into her shoulder, suddenly gripping the back of mikasa’s neck in an attempt to take her mind off the pain. “it stings.” she recoils, and mikasa’s face contours one of confusion. she hadn’t purposefully intended to cause annie pain. guilt wallows deep in her stomach, looking at the other girl’s distressed face. 

she hates to be seen vulnerable like this, and mikasa knows too, but she doesn’t make anything of it for annie’s sake. instead, mikasa slows down the movement of her fingers, going at a more reasonable pace. with her other hand, she finds annie’s hand that grips onto her shirt tightly, bunching it up around the edges. steadily, mikasa moves to clasp her hand around annie’s, allowing her fingers to slide through the gaps. they fit like a puzzle piece, not too firm or too loose, just right.

“okay, baby. just relax, and it’ll hurt less.” mikasa whispers into her ear, kissing the hot, red shell at the tip.

annie can’t help but think this scenario is too intimate. the way mikasa’s hand is intertwined with her’s, the pet name, her legs supporting her trembling body. the way she’s whispering soft reassurances into annie’s ear so that she doesn’t freak out from the overstimulation, so that she doesn’t think about the pain.

it’s intimate like they’re lovers, but they’re only just comrades. even  _ that _ was a reach, they both enrolled into the training corps for two very different reasons, they could not be any less alike. yet somehow, there’s a weird common ground, a mutual understanding. though it’s not a complete comprehension of each other, mikasa’s words from earlier still ring in her head.

_ “i just think we’re similar...in a way.”  _ and it’s at this moment that annie knows what this is. it isn’t entirely lust, but it’s something in between. she isn’t in love with mikasa, but she savors the way she’s holding her right now and how gentle she’s being with her. maybe annie isn’t so certain anymore.

annie spasms and cums hard onto mikasa’s fingers. the hand that isn’t intertwined with the other girl’s is gripping at every inch of her, wanting,  _ needing _ a sense of comfort as the oxytocin seeps out, and mikasa is right there, helping her come down from her high, soothingly rubbing her with her thumb. she is still inside annie when this happens.

tears fall from annie’s face, treading on her flushed cheeks, but she’s way too embarrassed to bring her hand up and wipe them away. she stays limp on mikasa for a couple of minutes, breathing heavily to the point where her mind is pounding from the lightheadedness. 

“are you alright, annie?” mikasa asks softly, pulling her fingers out from her pussy with an audible pop. she notices the cum seeping through annie’s blue jeans, but she doesn’t say anything, thinks that the thrill of someone finding out about this is exhilarating. annie swallows and nods, backing away slowly. she catches mikasa’s eyes, the glint in them. though it is now nightfall, annie can still see every passing feature shown on mikasa’s face. 

“i’ve always thought you were pretty.” it slips past annie’s shaky lips without her even noticing. the only indication that she has said it out loud is mikasa’s small smile and the grip on her hand being squeezed.

“you too.” she says right back, and annie’s heart is pounding uncontrollably, almost painfully at how fast it’s going. she wouldn’t be surprised if mikasa heard it, maybe make fun of her for it because she’s pretty sure she’s the only one here who actually is  _ feeling _ something.

they do separate eventually, and annie tightens her hoodie top to cover the embarrassingly large hickey on her neck, all black and purple. there’s no ‘i love you’s’ or any ‘please, stay’s’ and the atmosphere does seem a little tense at the moment, but annie finds that she could not care less when mikasa pulls her back, yanks her in for another kiss. it’s much softer this time, annie can taste the faint blood in her mouth from earlier, thinks back to how she had hit her square on the nose, and she smiles into the kiss.

the air around them becomes more comfortable when they pull away. mikasa’s pinky loops loosely around annie’s, tugging.

“let’s go back before they start looking for us.” mikasa suggests, and annie complies. they walk around the barracks until they reach the front steps, not quite hand in hand but there’s something there, or at least annie feels it. 

however when they reach the top steps, just before the door, mikasa pulls away her hand, and annie feels her world turning cold again. her body turns to stone, the tips of her fingers freeze. she’s no longer in the warm embrace of mikasa, the fire to her water. 

she doesn’t feel like crying, when mikasa goes inside and leaves her out here, because it’s not love, and in their world, she doesn’t think it ever  _ will _ be love, yet it still leaves a mikasa shaped dent in her icy heart, and it still hurts all the same. 


End file.
